a borken heart, grief and loss

What do you mean by ‘ I have a broken heart’?

Do you mean a heart that is deeply sad or you mean losing an attachment to someone? If you lose things and people that you thought were yours in a first place, then you are condemned to great delusion and pain.

The pain is mainly self-imposed by lack of perspective or the reality of the bigger picture: at some point, and read me again with this…at some point those who love, are attached to, and fear to lose in this physical realm will disappear. It is best to start to recognize your pain and that all will go eventually, even your pain.

 The loss of someone dear will deeply hurt any of us.

Pain its inevitable in the human condition or a choice for the awakened. However, its best to recognize that at some point in life one of them will pass away, or you will pass away.

The pain involves the fact of not being with them physically any more.

You are in pain. You. It doesn’t mean they are in pain, but you cannot bear the emptiness left by their absence and this simple reality.

You may cling so hard to you do not allow them to pursue their path toward the Realization of the Truth. Your energetic attachment to them and emotional clinging tides them up to this physical realms and delays their spiritual evolution, just like it prevents you to do the same.

Do you think that the one that passed away and you have been grieving about, would be happy to see you suffering? Do you feel they will be free to walk their journey and continue their evolution? 

Every opportunity, and its particularly true for grief and massive break-downs, brings us closer to the Truth of Life.

Breaking Down and Loss are Disguised Saviours & Teachers. My best blog on this takes you to the essence of this Absolute Truth.

And that is GOOD! That is a BIG wake up call for us to update of beliefs, our attachment styles and our habits. To put priorities first and gain clarity of your deepest values and true nature.

It is deeply humbling and relieving at the same time to realize that we do not own anything or anyone and that we do not control the timing of the inevitable separation.

Some may say : “oh they leave too soon”, or “we separated too soon” but Life is a Constant reminder that nothing belongs to us and all leaves us at the right timing and will find a way sooner or later to remind you this. There’s no such thing as too soon or too late for things happen when they are meant to happen.

There is only diving time and perfect timing in all that happens. And all is divine and perfect as it IS.

Make use of life experiences to move beyond pain, not to dwell in it, feed it and sink. Pain is inevitable but do not remain stuck. Dive more deeply into the purpose of your own existence and aspire for what is True, Sacred & Meaningful to you in this world, knowing we cannot take anything for granted and our passage down here is short.

True Love is Unconditional Love and Unconditional Love is love without Attachment “- Alexandra Teodorescu from Book Freedom Paths
animal communication

Back in 2013 I lost my beloved cat. My only pet for 16 years who has always been in perfect health, gets struck by cancer and in as little as a week, becomes a walking skeleton in pain with diabetes crashing her any chance of survival.

I was so devastated that I didn’t even have the courage and the strength to bring her myself to the vet for the put down. It is a hard thing to admit. My emotions couldn’t bear it. The idea of death was to me unbearable.

That night she passed away, I was hunted by her death. I googled everything about animals souls, life after death, proves of spirit and continuity, prof of the rainbow stories etc. I was SURE there was a rainbow cross and that this could not just be her end.

So all night, in my search, I stumbled on a video testimonial of Laura Stinchfield, an animal psychic who reasonably calls herself more an animal behaviourist. I was so moved by her testimonial and the signs and connections she got after her pets had died, that I thought there must be some part of truth in it. When you listen to some things, you just know deep down its true- and some stories cant be made up.

I’m a scientist, I have a Masters degree in Science after all, doubt and evidence seeking are my mains guardians against BS.  I wasn’t however 100% convinced about animal communication with deceased animals but one day a striking evidence came shake all my reality about communicating  with living animals.

The Discovery of Animal Communication via a Valuable Mentor

A friend of mine sent me the documentary: the animal communicator Anna Breytenbach. In this very popular documentary, a team of PHD scientists were following her to different places from less to more dangerous places around the world, to test her ‘talking with the animals’ claimed abilities. She knew nothing about the places she was taken to nor the animals she would talk to. The infos she gave to the scientists however, were typically about their previous owner, their current situation, complaints, their daily habits, their character, their problematic behaviors and conflicts with humans or other species, special requests and background. The infos provided by her were so accurate that scientists were blown away

I then started to develop an obsession with this women and started stalking Anna Breythencach everywhere. I wanted to learn from her. I wanted to know her “tricks”.

As an absolute animal lover, I wanted to help animals too. I wanted to have them tell me their stories, their struggles, communicate at distance with them, being able to locate them when lost, reassure them when scared, solve their confit with humans, help them escape hunters, escape slaughterhouses, help them living in harmony with human beings who simply and too often do not understand them, fear them (wild animals) or believe their level of intelligence or self-awareness is reduced therefore inferior to human beings.

Well, you will find out that not only animals are able to have the same feelings like us ( grief, depression, anxiety, attachment, usefulness,  loving and protection needs) but also have vivid memories, thinking processes, tics and irritations and even wishes and desires.

By some miracle I met Anna 6 months after in an ecovillage in Germany

I literally bowed to her. She had no idea how much I have been stalking her…and I’m glad she did (silly face)

That week she was giving a workshop on AC. Cool, the opportunity of my life! She had brought a picture of a dog and we had to answer a few basic questions with some ‘connection techniques’. I sucked at every single questions. All was wrong apart from maybe one answer which was probably luck.

I will never be an AC I told myself, this is way too hard…wasn’t even close with my answers. Then other exercises followed,  working in pairs and this time using human telepathy like guessing what tool our practising partner is visualizing at the moment or what colour they are trying to send us through via telepathy.  I had a better success rate here about a 60 %. But my interest was in animals and I wanted to be able to receive accurate information from them, not from humans… I knew I had lots of work to do…

What is Animal Communication ?

But what is AC??!

Before I continue let me tell you what AC.  The term AC or telepathic communication are both synonyms for explaining that it is possible, using certain techniques close similar to hypnosis to receive a message telepathically  (transmission of a thought between 2 living beings) from animals that surround us, and this no matter the distance that separates them, nor the time when they deceased.

When we dream, our brain works on a certain frequencies (just like the herz-waves of the radio) which allows us to receive information in the shape of images, sounds or smells.

To communicate with animals, we are willingly going to ask our brain and heart to tune into this frequency and then learn to come in contact with the animal we wish to, by mastering a few validation questions first, before assuming we actually have a communication (and not a made-up interaction). This manner “to plug “ into the animal consciousness is also called telepathy. A number of scientific experiences proved today that telepathy exists and that this practice relies on the ability that a human brain has to develop this skill to connect mentally with another human being.

So we understand that this takes practice right? I started my practice immediately after I met Anna and committed every day to meditate.

Meditation is CRUCIAL part of developing telepathic skills. Why? Simply, because you must know the difference between what is your stuff (self- awareness of your own memories, projections, personal physical sensations and feelings and inner monologue) and what it actually sent to you from the outside.

The practice of Animal Communication

I challenged myself daily to communicate with the animals surrounding me and collect evidence of my progress. For example, I started with a neighbourhood cat. I had met him a few times already (Moustache) and one day I told him to show me exactly where he is next time I come by. So we had like a telepathic date set in advance.

  I established a connection one day and I asked him to show me where he was at that moment. I received immediately vivid flashes in my mind, I saw him standing on the edge of a window, 1st floor, facing a large garden, behind a tall building, surrounded by  high bush and flowers.  A couple of minutes later I keep walking and I see him exactly where he showed me: same place and position like in my vision.  I was stunned.  

After a few similar trials like that I thought it was time to get serious validation by owners and get to the next level with more challenging communications.

  So I joined a practice group and worked on photos only. I love working on photos, I actually prefer it, information flow in much more easily. Typical questions were : who is he living with, other pets in the house, favourite toy and food, character etc. Then the owner would give feedback.

My first client is him:

Before I even started to ask him to connect with me, I had a massive flow of information coming in. Its like I had knew him before, but I hadn’t. I wrote over 2 pages about him to the owner, describing the other 2 cats he was living with, their character, his thoughts about each one of them, the type of apartment, the people, their faces, his favourite person etc. These are information that I couldn’t have possibly know just from a photo. 

It was a very strong and overwhelming experience because looks like this dog LOVED to talk to literately ANYONE. That’s why intention in itself was sufficient. It usually doesn’t happen like this.

Locating Lost Pets with Animal Communication

After a full year of hands on practice like that, all validated by owners, I decided to work on locating lost animals. Because THAT’S’ challenging. At least to me. And it requires slightly different techniques (at least for me) as I need to use both: animals here and now consciousness AND intuitive guidance. Why? Because an animal can rarely tell you the name of the street, give you google directions and locate himself, otherwise he’d have come back home already! So intuition and locating their own energy required developing your third eye.

I began initially to practice with animals who were not lost but I didn’t know their address, anything about them. I just practice locating where they live from picture connections.

 I started with a lot of 10 pictures one evening and results were not so good. I was spot on for 4 of them and one almost, while the other 5 completely wrong. I kept a journal for each approach and noted what helped me most in getting right. I noticed that for 5 successful readings, each and every time I had spent a lot of time talking to the animal and getting to know them. The more I was able to download on them, the more chances I had to locate them rightly.  Logics, right?

So how do I do it? I use my hand like an energetic radar over a printed map and where I have the strongest pull, I stop and zoom in and scan again with me hands. Sometimes I see landscapes and map highlights, sometime I hear or see the name of a street; I write it all down….then with all these cues I do a google map search.  The more you practice, the better you get.

But its possible! If I can do it you can do it.

Anna Breythenbach is also one of these people who had to learn and wasn’t just born with a paranormal gift inaccessible to the ordinary people. She had to learn. The myth of the psychic guru is just a myth, really anyone can do it I guarantee you.


I had almost lost hope in the first year, I wasn’t able to HEAR anything. I knew I was understood because my requests were most of the time fulfilled – for example I asked a spider to come on its own into a small box…..TELL THE STORY….I also ask flies to leave or bees who enter the house without agitating a finger. Its almost instant. I don’t verbally tell them as such: I rather show them mentally the way out, and they do it just like I picture it for them…its truly amazing and exciting.

You should start today to practice and give yourself all the time (and Patience!) THAT you need. Don’t hold too much on the outcome, have no expectations or frustrations, just trust that your ability to ‘listen’ and open your sensory channels more and more each day as you practice.

Blessings and don’t forget Love opens all doors <3

p.s. Sharing a collection of my Art Inspired by Animal Communication & commissioned art for Clients.

You can order prints or different objects on Fine Art America or contact me directly for an order. 🙂 much love.

channelled Animal Totem : The Turtle for this Boy (sold)
75x 60 cm Drawing (sold)
girl and her horse (sold)
girl and her pet
my animal spirit GUIDE (we all have one)
wild life and animal totems

When I turned 17 my father passed away. Unexpectedly from a heart attack in the stairs of our house, in front of my helpless mother. At the time, I was out with my friends to the local swimming pool. From there I heard 3 ambulances passing by who deafened almost all of us, a few minutes after this happened. I had a bad feeling when they made a public announcement at the swimming pool and called my name to go to Reception.  They passed me the message: ” You must go home now because the Doctor asked you to’.

I couldn’t believe it was my name but the lady at the counter confirmed: it was well my name. My legs instantly melted as if they refused to walk me home and confront the gut feeling in my belly.  I knew I had it bad. My friends carried me physically on my way home because my legs were out of order. Once arrived there, in front of the house, 3 ambulances and a mortuary car were parked right at the entry. As soon as I entered the house, I couldn’t see any familiar faces. They were over 20 people buzzing around, in my room, in the stairs, up and down, all over the 2 story house.  I couldn’t eve see my mum anywhere and I was close to a heart attack.

‘Can anyone explain to me what’s going on?’ I scream my guts out.

A police man approached me and tells me to wait for the Doctor to have talk.

‘Are you Alexandra?’ he asks me.

“Yes, what happened?” I say in despair.

The Doctor says: ‘I’m afraid I have bad news for you. You father just passed away’

My world is crumbling. I tell the Doctor to try again, to try harder and bring him back to life: he can’t be gone! not now, not him, not like that!

“We tried everything, he’s gone”.

*cries, anger, confusion, incomprehension, denial*

I was close to my father and I needed him more than ever then. It was the most delicate, sensitive and fragile period of my life. That is adolescence. For almost anyone its a time filled with challenges, crisis, self-concerns and significant transitions. Parents play a key role in teens’ development and successful transition into adulthood, just like the social network, the romantic life, the school performance and career choices. It’s already ‘full on’ and very stressful. Grief is the last thing you want to have to deal with.

The consequences of loss

The following school-year I got kicked out of school because I was missing classes and I was unable to help the teacher and the principal understand what depression was as a result of father loss when you’re 17.

Truth is, they simply didn’t care to listen nor give me a second chance. They classified the matter as “lack of seriousness” and “unjustified absenteeism”, and they expelled me. They pushed me out of the system, undeserving to their eyes to further education. So I was left with no school options and no future either at 17.

I am surprised today I didn’t end up in substance abuse patterns or prison but I was close. Many young people slip through the cracks of the system and never make it back on track. The inflexible Swiss system, who typically has little tolerance to occasional weaknesses, pushes many to the edge.  As a result Switzerland ranks the highest in youth suicide in the world.

I soon broke up with my boyfriend and my friends deserted my little by little, until I preferred isolation to their trivial presence. I felt they couldn’t really understand; I was better off in my room all day.

Back then, I contemplated suicide for 6 months and attempted suicide with a medication overdose. In hospital I convinced the psychiatric team that I didn’t really want to die, that there is nothing to be worried about. So we could be over with it, go home and spare my mother further worries and embarrassments.

Few months later, I started to feel better. I found taste again to life by having the courage to start over and live up to my father’s dreams for me.

I decided that dying was not worth it.

I saw that other people in the hospital had it much worse than me and I hadn’t said my last words down here. I decided to give LIFE a chance, instead of my judging the poor job it had done so far (childhood was also full of traumas).

In the next weeks, I moved to another school 30 Km away, in another city and set up altruistic goals. In that school they accepted me conditionally- based on my presence commitment and school engagement. I finished the school 2 years later with the highest marks of the class leaving the Principal speechless (he admitted he never expected me to pass or make it, leave alone ending top class – but others’ expectations has rarely been my concern ; the mindset changed my life – for the better).

As I held onto every chance, I got to make it right, I made meaning out of my experience and was ready to use it as a strength to help and understated others rather than as a disability stuck in a victim role. Its always a choice. We always have the choice.

Today, I get to work as psychotherapist and got into college when I was rejected from higher education for most of my youth (for financial and segregation schooling-system reasons when you are a migrant & belong to the minority classes). I get to use my experience today to relate to others’ stories, nurture hope and foster their inner light & great resilience.

And it works beautifully. I could have missed out on the most rewarding job, by rejecting my traumatic experiences, giving up on life and never writing my own story today – which is the key factor for helping others and be the example of how its all possible.  

I never imagined back then that life could hold so many positive surprises and gifts along the path.

Everything is indeed impermanent. Every. Single. Thing.

So I’d like to briefly discuss some practical ways to approach suicidal thoughts, from both a spiritual and a secular perspective but larger a focus will be placed on the pragmatic and secular side of the problem. It may save a life or two.

Physical death: an appealing illusion

Death. An appealing solution to end of a unbearable life. The end of all problems. The end of a burden, of our pain, of our isolation, of our harsh inner voices. The end of suffering.

If only….

Energetically speaking, the burden of that energy does not disappear with the physical death. It continues. Until released, transmuted, solved & healed.

What is suicide?

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It is a desperate act to end the suffering and free oneself. It is often a long time planned act, re-attempted (with varying levels of determination), at a time when Hope has completely vanished from one’s mind, reality and motivation to bounce back in the fight.

Suicidal thoughts are commonly accompanied by a depressive episode or a history of depression with Anxiety Disorder/s co-morbidity and other clinical complications.

The biggest risk factors for suicide are:

• Isolation (social, cultural, family, spiritual) & sense of alienation from other

• Perception of lack of support

• Mental Health History

• Ongoing sleep difficulties / little sleep

• Unstable relationships

• No connection to or awareness of the a spiritual dimension / no spirituality

• Drugs or alcohol abuse

• Unwillingness to use available source of support (professional or personal)

If you are contemplating suicide, or know someone who suffers from depression, here are some powerful and practical approaches to take with yourself or with them:

There is no Death (spiritually and energetically speaking)

Physical Death is easier than Ego’s death. Ego persists energetically ever after. When the Ego has become highly threatened, it commands physical suicide. Mission aborted. He’s out of there. So you must be too. But, hang on, are YOU? Are You really?!  You are not your Ego. To understand this more in depth, please refer to the first chapter of my book “ Who am I?” (in Freedom Paths. Unlock the doors to True Self, Emotional Healing, Lasting Relationships, and Universal Love“).

The best way to kill the Ego is to stay alive and kick the Ego out.

Situations, people and circumstances don’t kill us. The Ego does. Self-acceptance, patience, humility and gratitude work against it very well.

Death is an illusion of an End. There is no death and there is no End.

You will continue to exist energetically ever after physical death. You may reincarnate to solve the unresolved problems or you may wander in across different realms until your spirit finds Peace.

Nothing disappears, everything transforms and remains connected. And there is no past,  no present and no future as, as we discussed in my article on Synchronicity “There are no coincidences“.

You Are Significant

You are here because the Universe wanted you and are just as important as anybody else. Although not aware of it yet, upcoming (surely better) times will teach you this beautifully, stay assured. Faith is key here. Everything that happens to you now, the challenges you are currently facing, are leading you straight to your purpose if you take it as a lesson not as a punishment.

You never lose or fail, you either learn or succeed.

With time all this will make perfect sense. You will thank yourself for giving Life time, another chance and yourself self-love and self-care. You will find in this harsh times a rare opportunity: to give true meaning to your live and free yourself from illusion to reach permanent happiness.

Read my article on : “How breaking down can save you” to understand this.

*You alone are the judge of your worth and your goal is to discover infinite worth in yourself, no matter what anyone else think*

Thoughts tell you lies and paint you a distorted reality

You are not your thoughts. Your mind is Ego’s house. Your Ego (False self) lives there all the time, bullies you all the time and feeds on fear. Thoughts are not Reality they are just thoughts, i.e. mental noise. Never believe your thoughts, most thoughts are lies as truth lives in your Body and speaks only through a quiet mind.

Why thoughts are not real and should not be acted upon?

The simple reason is because your uncontrolled automatic thoughts result from a biased mind. Humans’ thoughts result from a virtual representation of the world and of yourself, based on social, family and cultural expectations and experiences. Automatic thoughts feed on fear continuously and take over your mind.

Your reality is not someone else’s reality. Everyone projects on each other their own reality (based on their internalized representations of the world) and ultimately, everyone misses out not only on the actual reality but also on truly meeting each other as long as we ( humans ) live in our own minds. The mind is the collective insanity of human beings. It’s the common illness that unites us in our tragic human condition and separates us at the same time. Relationships are hard, trusting others is hard, life is hard because we live in our minds. Because our reality clashes with what is in our mind and its unrealistic expectations.

Realize this fundamental thing: people love us or hate us and this has nothing to do with us. People simply project their own reality or their own dream on us. We typically and (unintentionally) activate in them a dream they had once in their internal world or remind them of traits present but denied and rejected in themselves. This is called projection. The stronger our reaction to someone is, the more we are projecting. Everything that unfolds ever after they meet us is not so much dependent upon what we do or say than it is on their own mental processes and ongoing internal representations.

In conclusion, you are the sky and thoughts are the weather. Unless you are meditating right now, thoughts are not reading reality they repeat your conditioned Ego’s ‘dream’ or ‘fears’.

Choose Love and Reality: do more of what you love and makes you feel good

Thoughts are like the ripples of a lake, they come and go you don’t have to surf each wave. You don’t have to serve them tea, nor respond to them by taking action. A voice ignored eventually vanishes. Your Ego likes to ramble, but you don’t like to listen, right? Great! Stand up and leave it ramble there, you have better things to do!

Leave that mental space and invest into something worthwhile and helpful for you. Like doing someone you Love. Do more of that until you excel in it, if you don’t excel already. Distract your attention, grab a book, listen to your favorite music, remember and list the things you used to pray for once and have them now (all of them, be fair!), go for a run (physical activity balances your brain activity and is a great outlet), tell yourself continuously this mantra: ‘ I love myself’. Even is it sounds weird to you, doesn’t matter. It will soon feel very true. Tell it 1000 times until your body relaxes and you fall asleep. The brain doesn’t make a difference between virtual and real words. Even if you don’t believe it, saying it creates same positive effects in your brain. Those are miracle and super powerful words.

You become what you think, you attract what you feel & you create what you image.

Sleep as long as you need it! Good Sleep is extremely important to see things more objectively.

Challenge your thoughts and feel much better

By challenging your thoughts in the following way, you realize how inaccurate and unhelpful they are.

Step 1: Determine the Situation: what actual event or thoughts led to this current emotions. Write it down

Step 2: Current Automatic Thoughts. List them (I’m a failure, I can’t do anything right, I can’t continue like that, I will never make it, etc)

Step 3: What emotions these thoughts are causing me: list the emotions (not the thoughts). Rate how much % (e.g. Sadness 80%)

Step 4. Review these thoughts by answering in writing the following questions:

  1. What’s the objective evidence for this view/conclusion/perspective?
  2. What counter- evidence is there for a different point of view? (what contradicts my statements? list all type of successes and positive events that happened in your life)
  3. How did I get into the habit of thinking this way? (Take into account personal history and also evaluate wider social and cultural influences)
  4. What other explanations could there be? (for example “the person didn’t read the message, or they had their own personal problems and reacted in this way”, etc)
  5. How realistic are my expectations and beliefs?
  6. Is it helpful for me to see things this way? (Feeding a negative self-image will it allow ME to grow or stay stuck in self-sabotaging?)
  7. What would be a more positive way to see this? There are 360 angles in any situation. Don’t stay stuck in 1 angle view. How else can I look at the situation so I can make it HELPFUL to ME?
  8. What would I say to a friend if they were thinking this?
  9. Are there other people likely to live / feel this? (the answer is ALWAYS YES!) Ask yourself : “how can I get in touch with this community?” and get in touch. (Online forums, questions, testimonials, etc. There are plenty if you look around a bit).

Using all of these questions you can re-evaluate your thought and replace it with a more balanced, helpful belief.

Step 5.  Return to Step 3 and RE-RATE the intensity of the emotion now, after this evaluation. If you challenged the thought successfully you should feel no more negative emotion or very little.

Expand on reasons to LIVE

Just write everything that you don’t really want to give up on, people or things that have made you feel real good, dreams and wishes untested, unexplored, solutions / paths never tried, loved ones and positive life experiences that you’d like to live again.

Depression is a horse that wears blinders. It has its vision restricted. Don’t use only one vision channel, take off the blinders and turn the problem to see all facets. Everything has goods and bads in it. Every single thing. Nothing can be all back and nothing is never all white. This mix of black and white, yin and yang we find it in every single situation. Depression choses only one side. Which is far from the reality.

What’s the white for you in here? What can you be grateful for and what don’t you fully recognize in this siltation as being learning/growth points? There is always something to feel grateful for. Always.

Break the problem into smaller solvable units

Depressive feelings leading to suicidal thoughts are very overwhelming. All problems looks incredibly big and daunting that is can feel impossible to deal with such amplitude.

However these overwhelming problems can be dealt with individually and realistically by creating small practical steps of solving the Big Picture. What’s one first step you can take in this? What is the second? Allow momentum to get you on a progress line, instead of fear freezing you on the spot. The first step is always the hardest. After this, it flows.

Talk to a professional

In your respective country, call the emergency line that is there to assist with mental health emergencies 24/7. You will not regret you did it. It becomes so much easier once this very first (but huge) step is done. Research shows that over 90% of patients that engaged in help-providing services (counselling, psychologists, etc), recovered from their illness.


In conclusion, depression is a serious but common and treatable condition that ranges widely in severity. Everyone will experience it at least once in their life.

Most of people recover from it and are grateful to have sought help and/or helped themselves in a first place, until ‘the weather changed’ and better times came about to embrace fully life again. For people who are severely depressed, suicide is a real threat. It is estimated that each year, over 30,000 people in the U.S. take their own lives, although the true number could be higher as some suicides go unrecognized because they’re classified as accidents, drug overdoses, or shootings. Among people whose depression remains untreated, up to 15% are likely to kill themselves. Seeking help, talking it out, or journaling regularly (this often equals to speaking to someone and is highly therapeutic in itself) can help you shift perspective and unload the grief so overwhelming on the moment.

Isolation, burnouts and lack of self-care are the true killers and its important to recognize the signs of exhaustion and repetitive negative thinking early on, to avoid the irreparable.

Seek help EARLY.

May you be well & safe.